Well, how exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. I am writing my first blog, well one you actually get to read. Many have been written and been trashed with spitting words, “what shit, I cant show that”!
It seems the feeling of FFT , Fucking First Times are mixed with fear, excitement, but also the feeling of vulnerability, to be seen and potentially being judged harshly by myself or others. It seems this is what goes with the territory?
So here I am feeling vulnerable, excited and scared all the same time. I did not make this phrase up. It comes from my favourite person (outside of my family) Brene Brown. http://www.brenebrown.com. This is the lady who went totally famous with her Shame and Vulnerability TED Talks quite a few years ago, now. Of course if you are interested I highly recommend going onto Tedtalks.com and check her out. Also if you are really keen to learn more, she also has a Netflix special. Yeah, its fair to say, i really unashamedly am a great fan and believe everyone needs to check into her work,
Anyway, I listened to her podcast show called ‘Unlocking Us’ and her first podcast ‘Brene on FFT’. It challenges how we recognise the FFT’S in our lives and then recognise how we can move through this newness as honourably to ourselves as possible. These FFT, could be large milestones like new realtionship, new jobs or losing jobs (seems to be our world right now eh?). Or they can be much more smaller and less obvious to the outside world, but for each of us such a significant scary moments to work through. Like writing a blog, only my mum and husband will read.
So, my first web site , my husband and I have created. My first blog, my beginnings of starting up my practice once more after 18 months sabbatical. My previous work was in private practice, but just like the rhythm of life at times, I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the way I was working. I was physically becoming unwell and this impacted on my ability to be my best for the people I worked with. You could call this ‘burn out’, and it is more impacting with people helping professions than we probably like to acknowledge, individually and socially. So this journey was a first for me and that has brought me to more firsts.
It just seems we are constantly in a threshold of moving into something because we are moving away from something also. The rhythm of life eh?
I wonder if you can relate to FFT experience? What might be your FFT at present?
Could it be seeing a therapist? Well, I totally get it, the firsts we choose to take on. We feel the fear but do it anyway, are the exact places where we grow courage and empowerment. Would it be great if you could feel the power and courage before you act sometimes, yeah I do, but it just isnt the way we build our courage and resilience muscles up.
So here goes…going live…not perfect for sure…wearing my heart on my sleeve…